Time’s Up Chief
You did it. You made it to the end of the work day. And whether it was a good or not so good day, the end of the day always does feel nice. You can take a deep breath, enjoy your commute home, and ease the mind for a second…
This inflection point that transitions the end of the workday to the beginning of your evening is easy to brush aside and call it until tomorrow. You already did all of the hard work of the day, what’s left to do?
But it’s this time that quietly determines how your life feels.
Sure, you have your morning routine (read this if you need help with that), you have your long term goals, and you have your job that are doing the heavy lifting of your emotional status. But don’t forget about 6 o’clock.
Why 6pm is So Dangerous
Depending on your work schedule, 6pm might look like:
- Walking through your apartment door
- Sitting on your couch “for just a minute”
- Checking your phone
- Watching TV
Sounds relaxing… and trust me, it is.
Besides, at this point of the day, you’re mentally drained, at least slightly hungry, don’t feel like making many decisions, and just craving comfort. It’s the perfect storm to set the jets on autopilot.
But this is the scary part. You don’t consciously choose to scroll social media for 2 hours. You don’t consciously choose takeout, again. And you don’t consciously choose to skip the gym. This default pattern is hard to break because it feels like exactly what you need.
The problem here isn’t laziness; it’s mental fatigue.
The 3 Paths to Take Your Evening
All of what I’ve said so far isn’t to try to turn you into an insane productivity machine. If you want to cut out all distractions and use those hours after working all day to carry out some intense work, by all means, go after it.
But I know for myself, I need rest, I need distractions, and I need a personal allowance to have those kinds of nights. With that, I want to have scheduled out ahead of time what kind of night I’m going to have. And I want to break up the week with when these nights occur (we’ll get more into that).
Those nights are either:
- The Passive Night
- The Tighten-Up Night
- The Intentional Night
1. The Passive Night
Here is your rest and your night lay back to take a load off.
The goal of this night is to have your mind leave work behind and mentally clear up a bit. This type of night is where I’ll throw in a frozen pizza instead of a cooking a whole meal. This is where I change into sweats and relax on the couch. I might watch a TV show, try to read a little, or just sit outside and get some fresh air.
Nothing here is moving the needle, that’s for another day. And that’s nice because mentally I don’t feel guilty having the night melt away.
However (this is the most important part)…
I ALWAYS make sure to go to bed EARLY on these nights. That’s probably around 9:30pm for me or 10pm the absolute latest. I don’t mind sacrificing a bunch of unproductive time as long as I can get a rejuvenating slumber. It makes a huge difference, so don’t miss that detail.
2. The Tighten-Up Night
Ok, here is your middle ground.
I might have the TV on in the background watching a show or movie, but I also am getting at least one key thing done that’s going to set up my other days in a better light. Here’s a list of examples:
- Doing the dishes
- Doing/folding laundry
- Go grocery shopping
- Phone call with friend/family member
- Meal prep
- Ordering necessary purchases
The vibe as a whole should remain relaxed and comforting. But with that, you’re able to leave the night a bit lighter than you had entered it. That’s the point.
3. The Intentional Night
The nights like these are what push that needle forward when compounding over a period of time. I mentioned how the tighten-up nights help set up my other days; these intentional nights help set up my future months/years.
They have a purpose and that purpose was known before the evening began.
During these types of nights, I find myself working on this blog and the podcast. I am making and editing content. I might sit down and log my finances. This is where you start working on that business idea you might have had, or maybe this is where you research certifications to help you advance your career, or maybe update you resume.
It doesn’t have to be something you don’t like to do either. These nights might be where you find that thing you love to do and work on it without distractions. Maybe you’re a song writer and need to get that last verse down. Maybe you’ve been looking to try that recipe once and for all.
Regardless what it is, it’s important that you have the time set aside to do what you need to.
The 3-2-2 Night Framework
We have the 3 types of nights laid out and identified. But we need a balance for any of them to be effective.
For that, I like to focus on the 3-2-2 Framework. During your week, you should schedule to have:
- Three (3) Passive Nights
- Two (2) Tighten-up Nights
- Two (2) Intentional Nights
It’s this type of schedule that leaves things manageable with a full-time job, and avoids burn out with plenty of rest. On the other hand, even those 2 Intentional Nights a week over the course of a year can put you in a such a further place if you do not.
One more thing to mention…
Within this rule, you can ALWAYS upgrade a night if you are feeling extra motivated and in the mood to do more.
However, you should NEVER downgrade a night. That’s where the discipline kicks in. And that’s what separates individuals.
Building Evening ‘Defaults’
The 3-2-2 Framework described is exactly that—a framework. Within that framework, there’s flexibility to be able to customize it what those specific nights look like in your case.
If you are someone who finds more energy at the beginning of the week, then setup those more productive nights to be on the earlier weekdays. Or maybe you get motivated by the approaching weekend and build up reserves to do more evening later on in the week. Identify when those hotspots of energy occur for you.
I will say, you probably don’t want to stack Passive Nights back-to-back at all. It starts to feel a bit restless, at least for me personally. Let those good, productive nights give value to the restful nights.
Try to set up automatic events that occur to be your default. Tuesday could be your call home while you fold laundry. Friday could be your phone off and dinner with friends. Wednesday you only watch cartoons on TV, while Monday you go after PRs in the gym.
Have fun with it and make every night something to look forward to. The human brain and reward systems are very powerful.
Conclusion: The Quiet Reclaim
When we’re in college, I think homework naturally takes up a lot of our evenings, and I think most would agree that’s a good use of time. But when you start working, most jobs end at the end of the day, allowing you to do what you want with that remaining part of the day.
The problem with that—it goes to waste.
I don’t know what the surveys say, but I would bet that the one thing that older people wish they had would be more time. If you really think about it, we don’t have a crazy amount. So why are we letting a few hours every single night leave us without having a reason why?
Just like reclaiming the morning, being intentional with your time after work is just as important. You don’t need to do anything revolutionary, but you need to do something with that time. And having a plan is a great start.
As I wrote out, you don’t need to grind your toes off 6 days a week. It starts with 2 Intentional Days, 2 Tighten-Up Days, and 3 Passive Days. When you follow something like that, you have no choice but to see the progress.
And progress is the number 1 doctor recommended way to keep writing your story.
—Will
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