Load Up the Disc
Sometimes, I think of life like a video game.
You have hard levels that take a lot more effort. And there are even times that you willingly up the difficulty.
I have a surgery coming up where they are going to operate my foot and shift a bunch of bone and tendons around (I know, sounds fun). It’s a 6-9 month recovery, I was told by my doctor. That includes 5 weeks of not being able to walk.
There was no incident that caused the need for this surgery. There was no event to point to. It’s a byproduct of the way I was born and just the way I was created. With that being said, I wish the way I was created didn’t put a lot more stress and pain on my joints and tissue.
Leading up to this procedure, I was thinking about the moments in life where we need to play on a “higher difficulty” level and step-up. There has to be some sort of chemical metamorphosis in our brains that explain why we like the challenge. But sometimes, the same reason we like the challenge is the same reason we get so frustrated by it.
Is He Really Gonna Talk About Guitar Hero?
Short answer, yes (and it’s Guitar Hero III, more specifically).
I played a lot of Guitar Hero as a kid and I am proud to say I was able to play most songs on expert difficulty. However, not every song on expert was created equally.
Take the songs “Slow Ride” by Foghat and “Through the Fire and the Flames” by Dragonforce as examples. The image shows a snippet of the chart for “Slow Ride” on the left… and then “Through the Fire and the Flames” on the right. Both on “expert”.
The odds of me completing “Through the Fire and the Flames” on expert are probably 0%. However, it is way more fun to try and play then I ever found completing “Slow Ride” at 92% notes hit ever was.
It’s the difficulty and challenge that makes the reward so much sweeter. And it’s cool when you get to choose what difficulty you’re feeling for that day. The tough part is when it’s chosen for you.
With this surgery, I am setting up months of a loss of routine, loss of movement, and loss of activity that brings me a lot of enjoyment.
It’s still the same character that has to complete the levels (me) but now the game looks a bit different. Nothing about my goals has changed. The conditions did.
What Might Increased Difficulty Level Look Like?
Obviously, I am writing this from my perspective and my “level-up” moment to come is the aforementioned foot surgery. But these types of moments reveal themselves in different areas to different people.
Here’s a list of a few examples:
- Losing a job
- Starting a new job in a completely new field
- Moving to a city where you know no one
- Going through a serious breakup
- A close friend moving far away
- A family member getting sick
- Being financially unstable
- Taking on debt
- Living alone for the first time
- Becoming responsible for someone else’s care
- Failing an important exam or certification
- Your car breaking down when money is tight
- Starting over after a business or project fails
- Switching careers later than your peers
- Waiting on medical results you can’t control
- Supporting family during a crisis
Some of them are in your control, some of them are not. Regardless, these are all normal things that can cause a big hit.
What Actually Gets Hard When Life Gets Harder
Progress Slows Way Down
At this point of our lives, progress moves quickly (as it should). A lot goes on because it is truly the formative years of our adult lives. A lot of firsts, a lot of goals, and a lot of failing and getting back up on the horse.
When you get a bump in difficulty, sure it’s the initial blow that stings, but also, the progress you’ve been experiencing really slows down for a while.
This plateau effect is tough on the mind. The important thing to realize is that progress is still occurring, it’s just at a slower rate.
Sometimes a slower rate of progression feels like a negative rate of return or regression, since there is a loss between the potential gains from continuing the upward trend and the slowed track. However, a couple of things to consider: a) it may still be progress even though it feels like working backwards, and b) I have found that a lot of those lull periods are followed by major booms with exponential growth. More on this later.
Your Identity Takes a Hit
Without being able to make the same levels of progress that you had previously, you start to internal that feeling of shrinkage. Sure, your ego takes a hit, but it’s your overall identity that takes it too.
A big fear of mine with this surgery is my wellbeing without being able to be active. Physical activity has been a huge part of my life since the time I was a kid, playing sports up through college, and even now with lifting and running. It makes me happy, it connects me with people, and it makes me feel good.
So yeah, the concern of having gained a lot of weight or lost a lot of weight is there. But also the ridding of mental health benefits associated with my physical activity are all challenges in the back of my mind; the social ties through sports leagues, the pick-up games with friends, the displaced time that ordinarily would go to these types of activities.
Knowing yourself is tough enough as it is, but it is substantially easier when you are standing at equilibrium. The true test will be: Who am I when things aren’t going well?
So, yes part of me nervous about losing a good part of that side of me. But I am also curious to see what side it reveals.
Motivation Stops Showing Up (When You Need It the Most)
To tie it all together, the motivation that you have when all the cards line up is not the same when they’re not.
Think of a health journey where you’re eating well, getting sunlight, working out, getting steps, having good nights of sleep, etc. It’s easier to stay away from junk food because you feel a difference in the gym, and because of that you’re sleeping better, and because of that you have energy to get your steps in, and so on and so forth.
But we all know when one thing starts to fall out of line, the rest finds its way to follow. A few cookies seems harmless, but maybe that gets the taste of sugar back in your system. A few drinks out with your friends is fun, but maybe it interferes with your sleep schedule and leads you to eating some late-night mozzarella sticks.
The fuel source that is a concoction of excitement and momentum will now be replaced by discipline. You don’t feel like just doing it, but you still need to dig deep and do it. And it’s even worse when you don’t have the motivation AND the output is less than what it was.
It’s this work that becomes quieter and lonelier. But it is also the same work that puts you back on track in the quickest way possible. Isn’t that the goal at the end of the day?
How to Level-Up to Match the New Difficulty
You see how things are different or going to be different. You see the difficulty bump. There might not be any cheat codes to beat these types of levels, but there are some best practices to go about them.
1. Redefine Consistency and Progress
The natural inclination when you are in a down period is to compare it to your normal levels of operations. You cannot do that.
For one, it’s not a fair comparison. And with that, secondly you’re going to dig yourself into a mental rut about your lack of progress based on what you “used to do”. You need to redefine what consistency and what progress looks like, at least for the immediate future.
Here’s what that may look like for a couple of the scenarios described earlier:
- Starting a new job will reset your social standing in the office, don’t expect to be the “go-to” 3 weeks in
- Going through a breakup will put some stress on your dating life, don’t expect to be back in a relationship without taking the time you need
- Realizing your financial habits aren’t in order will hinder your ability to mindlessly spend, start with cutting a couple things before going cold turkey
Physical therapy doesn’t throw 250lb squats right into your regiment. Instead, it builds up from simple flexions, to bands, to light weight, and then eventually to heavy weight. You can’t get back to full health unless you have all those days in between.
Take that both literally—when recovering from a physical injury—and metaphorically for other situations.
2. Build “Low Friction” Versions of Your Normal Habits
Forget running the plays at full speed; you need a whole other playbook.
You know what you need to do, but you might not be able to do it at full go. Sometimes that’s our excuse to not do it at all and that’s where the problems occur.
Start on one thing at a time, and stay consistent with that. A touch, a contact, 10 minutes. You should focus on the repeatable, small acts rather than the big picture. The progress doesn’t die when you underperform—it dies when you stop checking in.
I am planning on changing my writing schedule from a couple long sessions a week, to probably writing for 20-30min 4-5 days a week. I might start focusing on the next two meals instead of trying to prep for a week of food.
I’m not changing who I am. I’m changing how I access who I am, and that’s the difference. The goal right now isn’t to perform at my peak. The goal is to keep the door open to the person I’m still trying to be, even if I’m walking through it slower.
3. Track Restraints Over Results and Celebrate Wins
In the usual sense, results are easy to spot and point to. You finished something, you improved something, you fixed something, etc. There’s Evidence A to show that you accomplished Task B.
Instead of focusing on what you accomplished, focus on what you didn’t fail to do. The harder part tends to be the relapse and downward spiral effect, not so much an additional achievement.
Maybe it’s keeping during cool in a stressful day. Maybe it’s the negative thought that you didn’t see through. Maybe it’s the argument that you prevented yourself from having. Or you asked for help when you needed it instead of falling into the self-overload scenario.
These things are big wins when life gets into difficult seasons. They are not glamorous or dramatic. But they are major boosts for your confidence and spirit. And they deserve to be celebrated. This is why recovering alcoholics are proud by their number of days sober and should be.
The effort to not work backwards and remain at 0 is a lot of the times more challenging than the effort to go from 0 and move forward. Don’t let anyone kid you that it’s not.
4. Equip Yourself to Come Back Stronger
Always keep in mind the energy build up a time like this can conjure.
Sure, it’s a time of recovery and reframing. But it also is a time to leverage and use to reach new heights. I mentioned earlier how major booms tend to follow these types of lull periods where progress seems to be slowed or reversed.
In sports, when you play against better competition, the game feels faster, you tend to make more mistakes, and you get exposed in ways you didn’t at your old level. But if you stick with it, something shifts. The pace that once overwhelmed you starts to feel normal. The standard rises without you even noticing it.
You get exposure to struggle when starting a new job. You get exposure to being lonely when you go through a breakup. You experience frustration. Your patience is tested. Your ability to endure hardship is tested. Your drive is tested. You are tested.
I might not love how these skills are being built, but I know by experiencing these increased difficulties, my new baseline will include more patience, more emotional control, and more trust in myself when things aren’t ideal. It’s mental altitude training and it will kick your butt before it helps you. But man, oh man, will it help you.
Conclusion: Don’t ‘Rage Quit’, Stick With It
The most important piece with this entire blog post, is the absolute emphasis to not quit and stick with going forward.
The only true failure is when you quit. This video game level you’re currently playing or about to play, you might not be able to beat…yet. The key word is yet.
A loss on a stock isn’t considered a loss until you sell. Sure, selling now might seem like the thing to do and will save you a lot of effort and agony. But, you will probably also miss out on the next bullish run it’s going to experience in the next 6 months.
I’m not going into surgery to get back to how I currently feel. I am going into surgery to feel 10x better than how I currently feel. The only thing is, it might just take a little while before I experience that new level. And that’s how it goes for everything else.
It brings up the question again of why we even play video games on harder difficulty levels to begin with. We like challenge. We like improving. And we like the feeling of accomplishing that next level. The way to do so is to redefine what our progress looks like, build lower friction versions of our current routines, tracking what we don’t fail to do, and use these tough periods to pull us to new heights.
You might not choose expert mode. But it sure is fun to play at. Just like the fun it is to keep writing your story.
—Will
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