The Dilemma
To everyone grinding through the 9–5 — I salute you. Because it’s not easy.
And it’s even harder when you don’t really like what you’re doing. We’re told this is the time to “find our purpose,” “find our passion,” and “find direction.” But most days, the only thing you’re finding is your eyes glued to the clock, waiting for the day to end.
“Choose a job you love, and you’ll never have to work a day in your life.”
That’s the quote we’ve all heard.
But the real question is — do you need to love your first job?
Spoiler Alert: The Answer is No
Okay, great. Thanks for the help, right? Obviously, there’s more to it.
Here are a few mindset shifts that helped me stop dreading Mondays, start appreciating the experience, and ultimately become a better asset to my company.
1. Knowing You’re Not Alone in the Dilemma
If you don’t love your first job, that doesn’t mean you picked the wrong path—it means you’re human.
It’s easy to get stuck in the comparison trap. You see friends posting about their “dream jobs,” and suddenly you feel like you’re falling behind. But the truth? Those stories are the exception, not the rule.
If someone finds their dream job early, we should be happy for them, because that’s rare. For most people, the first job is more like a proving ground.
On average, people stay at their first job one to three years. Sometimes it’s because of pay. Sometimes burnout. Sometimes toxic culture. Whatever the reason, it’s rarely permanent.
Once you stop beating yourself up for not loving it, you can start noticing what it’s giving you.
2. Understanding What the Job Is Giving You
Part of the first job experience is learning how to work—not just at a job, but in one. You learn how to manage stress, communicate with coworkers, deal with office politics, juggle deadlines, and still have a life outside of it all.
Your first job is a stepping stone, not the destination. It allows you set a benchmark of what’s positive and what’s not so positive so you have something to compare to going forward.
If it’s a great fit, awesome, keep building from there. If it’s not, pay attention to why it isn’t. That becomes your roadmap for what to avoid next. Either way, it’s not a waste of time and you gather a lot of information about yourself.
My uncle is a good example. He went to culinary school at 25, fueled by a passion for cooking. But once he started working in a restaurant setting, he realized he hated the chaos and long hours. He left after a few months—but that experience told him exactly what not to do.
Years later, he became a state lifeguard in Florida and did that for almost 30 years. He loved every minute of it.
Sometimes, knowing what you don’t want is the most valuable lesson you can get from your first job.
3. Identify the Skills You Love—Not the Job
A mentor once told me that most young people get discouraged not because they’re in the wrong job, but because they’re looking for the wrong thing.
Instead of chasing the perfect job, start noticing the skills that build up this perfect job.
You might hate your current job title, but still love being client-facing. You might not care about your company’s product, but get excited when you’re presenting or solving problems. Or maybe you thrive on teamwork and mentoring—even if the work itself isn’t glamorous.
These are the clues that point toward your long-term fit.
In my case, I work at an accounting firm surrounded by people who love numbers, ratios, and spreadsheets. Sure, I like that stuff, but realized I get more energy from creativity and communication. While others thrive in quiet focus, I’m at my best collaborating and growing with a team.
And that’s perfectly okay if you’re either type in that situation. The best companies aren’t filled with one archetype of person—they thrive because everyone knows their strengths, their role, and their value.
So, take a 30,000-foot view of your role. Look beyond the job title and find what lights you up. You might not love your first job, but if you stay curious, you’re already paving the path toward work you will love later.
Ask yourself:
- What parts of my job make me feel proud or fulfilled?
- What tasks drain me?
- What could I see myself doing more of long-term?
PSA: Yes, I Left Out the Money Part
Let’s talk about it briefly.
I go back and forth on how much pay should matter in your first job. It’s not black and white. It’s a balance for sure.
A while back, I was talking to a cashier at Trader Joe’s. In the midst of some small talk, he asked me if I loved my job. I said, “Eh, it’s alright.” I expected him to hit me with the classic “life’s too short to not love what you do” speech.
Instead, he said:
“Does it pay for stuff you love to do?”
That stopped me in my tracks. Because yeah—my job paid for the guitar I love, the steak dinner I made that night, and the streaming service I unwind with after work. It’s not everything, but it’s also not nothing.
It can relate to the ‘Energy x Time Matrix’ referenced in a previous blog post, which you should check out if you haven’t. Instead of looking to use your time for either enjoyment or advancement, you should use your working hours to either be making money money to pay for stuff you love to do outside of your job, or be developing skills that’ll help make your job something you love. However, if you are getting neither at your current position, why are you even there?
With that being said…
In your 20s, you should focus less on chasing the money. Instead, focus more on getting really good at something. Because when you’re good at something, you’ll start to love it. And THAT’S when you’ll get paid.
As this visual to the represents, there’s a lot of jobs out there that make a lot of money. There’s also a lot of things you like to do. There’s less things that you’re really good at. The ultimate goal is to find that Career ‘Sweet Spot’.
Final Thoughts: You’re Building, Not Settling
You don’t have to love your first job. You just have to learn from it.
Love will come later (at least that’s what I’m banking on), when the skills you’ve built start aligning with the life you want to live. For now, this season is about collecting experiences, building confidence, and figuring out what feels right.
So don’t pressure yourself to have it all figured out. You’re not supposed to.
You don’t need to love your first job to build a life you love.
You just have to keep showing up—and keep writing your story.
—Will
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